Being Handed a Mask
Some time back, I listened to a revert sister sharing her experience of accepting Islam twenty years ago. One thing that resonated a lot with me was her mention of “being handed a mask” right when she said her shahada. This mask was the series of expectations mentioned to her regarding Muslim women. Although it was invisible, this mask concealed her true being. The pressure of being a “good Muslim woman” meant that she had to forcefully change, or at least pretend to change, many things about her personality. The danger of this mask is that a woman who is concealing parts of herself from her own self and others, cannot work on truly submitting herself inside out to Allah SWT. Without being truly aware of oneself, one cannot know Allah. There is a famous Arabic proverb: Man arafa nafsahoo arafa rabbahoo (the one who knows oneself, knows his Lord).
When a born Muslim woman tries to come closer to deen, she is handed a similar mask. It can be handed to her by family, by an institute she studies from, the mosque she connects herself to, or simply by any part of the Muslim community. As a result, she becomes more focused on how she presents herself in front of others, than how she is feeling inside. It becomes more about how much she can “gel in” the community, than how much she is able to water the seed of Allah’s love in her heart.
The people who are contributing to masking her are well-intentioned. However, what they do not realize is that Allah SWT chose that unique person for hidayat (guidance). Prophet SallAllahu ‘alayhi waSallam said: “People are like ores. Those who were excellent in the Days of Ignorance are excellent in Islam provided they acquire the knowledge and understanding of the religion.” There are a multitude of paths to Allah SWT and numerous examples of Muslim woman role models, with varying personalities. All the female companions (sahabiyaat radhiAllahu anhunna) of the Prophet SallAllahu ‘alayhi waSallam strove in the path of Allah SWT in different ways.
It’s only when we take off this mask and get real with ourselves and others, can we truly begin our journey towards healing and self-awareness. Being real and authentic inside out is the essence of sidq (truthfulness) in our deen. This does not mean that we traverse the boundaries set by Allah SWT in the name of authenticity. It is important to remember that our authentic being is in line with Islam because the Prophet SallAllahu ‘alayhi waSallam said that every person is born on fitrah. Therefore, being real only means that we sincerely identify our strengths and weaknesses, and the pollution that has being caused to our fitrah. We then strive towards the pleasure of our Lord by meeting ourselves where we are. Allah SWT says: “And those who strive in Our (cause), We will certainly guide them to our Paths: For verily Allah is with people of goodness. [29:69]
