Emotional Pain and Dua

Emotional pain takes different forms. It sometimes feels like a crushing boulder on our chests. Sometimes it feels like carrying a heavy cloud on our heads. It sometimes comes and goes in waves. At times, it will knock on our door suddenly as an uninvited guest and make its place in our homes while we go about our day.

There would be times when we make heartfelt dua for the pain to go away. But we would experience going deeper and deeper in that pain. Just when we believe that our trial would end in the form of an answered dua, we would feel pushed even lower in that abyss. The experience would keep getting more and more difficult, until we feel shaken to the core. Allah SWT beautifully says in the Quran: “[But] do you think that you could enter Paradise without having suffered like those [believers] who passed away before you? Misfortune and hardship befell them, and so shaken were they that the Messenger, and the believers with him, would exclaim, ‘When will Allah’s Help come?’ Oh, verily, Allah’s help is near!” [2:214]

Then comes the beautiful part. While we are still in that abyss, feeling that extreme pain, we also feel strongly connected to and cared for by our Lord. There is something inside our heart that tells us that we would not feel this sweetness of Iman (faith) if it were not for this test that we are finding ourselves in. A voice from inside calls out letting us know that our dua has indeed been answered, like we expected, but would just manifest itself in an even more beautiful way. The pain still feels intense, but it’s accompanied by a renewed strength to face what comes our way. It’s like Yaqoob (Jacob) AS mentioning beautiful patience and hope to his sons, but then turning away and expressing extreme sorrow to his Lord saying “…’O my sadness for Yusuf’ and his eyes became white from the grief, and he had been swallowing it.” [12:84] Yaqoob (Jacob) AS then goes on to say, “It is only to Allah that I complain of my deep grief and my sorrow, for I know from Allah, something that you do not know.” [12:86]. Yaqoob AS experienced so much sorrow that he went blind due to crying, but at the same time, he had absolute yaqeen [certainty] that it was Allah’s most Perfect Plan that was gradually unfolding.

However, sometimes we must go through a long phase of repeated tests before we feel that sweetness of our connection with Allah. But know, my dear sister, that the time would come. This pain would be followed by that sweetness, and then with the lifting of the pain InshaAllah. Allah SWT keeps Changing days amongst people, just like seasons. Test and relief will follow each other. The only true relief, though, would come when we would finally meet our Lord while He is pleased with us.