Motherhood: From Love of Quran to Broccoli
Children have some basic developmental needs, ranging from physical to emotional needs, and more. When nurtured well, they are able to grow holistically, and stay in tune with their fitrah (the natural disposition to truth they are born with).
When it is said that it takes a village to raise a child, it means different members of the community play varying roles in nurturing a child. A mother may be involved in basic caretaking, while the grandfather instils important positive values into the child through role modeling and conversation. The grandmother cooks nutritious meals while the father and uncle take her for outdoor activities and interaction with nature. The aunt is playful with the child while the neighbor gives opportunities for respectful, social interactions. The teacher at the masjid (mosque) inculcates love of Quran while the maternal grandparents enhance her competence in the mother tongue through conversations. The helper cleans the house to ensure mental peace for family members, while the friend arranges organic groceries.
When this village is missing, the mother is left alone to work on all these aspects of her child’s life. Even when there might be support in the form of schools or teachers, she soon realizes that they are more interested in grades and curriculum, than her child. Parents and relatives are often themselves emotionally wounded, trying to find a “quick fix” to the pure, innocent, little, full-of-life child in front of them. The polluted beings (adults) want to fix the innocent beings (children), instead of raising in their taqwa (God-consciousness) through the child.
In the middle of all this, the mother’s mind shifts gears countless times in a day, from making healthy, wholesome food choices available for the child (but without coercion), to role-modeling love and connection with the Quran at the same time (without coercion to recite in the formative years). She needs to steam the broccoli, while also answering questions about how a bulb lights, or how we die. She needs to put dinner on the table but also take her child out for cycling. Some might argue that she does not need to do any of this, while some might expect her to do a lot more. Some might feel there is nothing stressful or overburdening about it, while others find it to be overwhelming. In any case, Allah has put a natural instinct in every mother to nurture and it leads to some inevitable worries and thoughts in her mind. What she focuses on would be dependent on her own worldview and holistic health.
What is important amidst all this is that she purifies her intention, continues to make effort for the sake of Allah, and increases in the marifat (understanding) of her Lord due to any ease, hardship, overwhelm, failure, support, or challenge, that she faces along the way. When the goal is Allah, then every broccoli floret (the one left in the plate and the one inside the child’s stomach), every paint stain (on the clothes, table, and floor – some cleaned immediately and some left there for a week), and every answer given to the child (the ideal answers and the not-so-ideal answers) would InshaAllah be worth it.
