Validating Emotions of Children & Adults

Toddlers don’t know how to manage their emotions. They can scream for fifteen minutes for a particular colour of crayon. Today, my daughter felt quite overwhelmed. I took her out three times to three different places because I thought it was okay to socialize, exercise and have a family activity all in a single day. It turns out I was wrong.

By the time we came back home from the third place, she was quite hungry and overtired. So she decided to completely reject food and scream at every possible trigger. I was also tired and was not sure how to handle her. Without thinking much, I just hugged her tight. She resisted for a moment, but eventually rested her head on my shoulder and suddenly got quiet. She stayed like that for almost five minutes. It seemed like she was comforted by the feeling of receiving unconditional love at a time she was being her worst. It was my way of telling her that I love her and am there for her to let her feel what she is feeling. It was the best moment of the day for both of us.

I later realized that adults often need the same validation of their feelings. Just because we are adults, it does not mean that we would always be able to manage our emotions alone without being allowed to fully express them first and receiving love in return. The big difference is that adults would most likely not return to the screaming five minutes later like my daughter did. Well… she is a toddler and it’s no joke parenting one!